I hear these words often in the wedding industry.

Sometimes it’s from brides, grooms, or their supporters.  And that’s OK – they aren’t involved with weddings every weekend.

But sometimes it’s from other professionals who really should know better, and if they tried to learn from new resources outside their comfort zone, they’d be in a better position to support their clients and couples.

The two words?




Arguably they mean the same thing.

These words are used in often equally unhelpful statements, such as “The DJ normally sets up here”, or “What do other couples usually do?”, and “Normally the wedding timeline is usually behind schedule anyway” (!!??!!??)

Similar to my article on The Wedding Police (read here), when planning a wedding it can be overwhelming when you get so much advice from so many directions all at once.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  Apart from a couple of very minor legal requirements within the ceremony (your celebrant will look after that), you can do or NOT do anything you want.

Here’s the simple statement that might help you decide what’s important: what will they remember? 

Will they remember you had no centrepieces at the reception?  Will they remember the personalised handmade name badges at their seats?  Will they remember you didn’t have a father-daughter dance?  Will they remember they had fun!?

  • Want to have a very non-traditional rock or RnB processional song as you walk down the aisle, but don’t know what couples usually do?  Do it your way anyHaving a female bridesmaid isn't a lawway, play what YOU want!
  • Couples normally have a first dance, but it’s completely freaking you out?  Easy – don’t do one if you don’t want to.  With planning and forethought, your wedding MC can ensure the guests understand – without putting you under awkward pressure.
  • Thinking brides normally have bridesmaids but you don’t want any?  It’s OK – it’s not a legal requirement.  Have one, have a guy “bridesmate”, have none.  Whatever you want!


I say this all the time and can’t say it enough:  It’s your wedding.  Do what you want.  Do what will be the most memorable for you.

BUT REMEMBER:  Just because it’s your wedding, don’t be different just for the sake of it.  Unique doesn’t mean going against the norm just to be different.  Your wedding isn’t the place to try to prove to your friends you’re more alternative than them.

As long as guests aren’t bored or confused about what’s happening, you’ll be fine.


I truly hope this helps!

Nick Logan – Wedding MC | Event DJ | Nice Guy